Multas para Baixistas mal-comportados

por nukebass Seg Out 13, 2008 9:02 pm

Hehehe, meio velho mas tá valendo :-)

Name of Offender (Bass Player):_______________________
Infraction Date:___________________________
Musical Offenses
Playing loudly during warm up	$10
Sound-checking amp with funk slapping	$25
Turning up amp during the alto sax solo	$47
Loud cursing after mistake	$10
Playing high and fast after mistake	$20
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes	$20
Asking for "E" tuning note	$25
Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb	$50
Playing written-out walking line	$50
Failure to play written walking line	$75
Playing an intentional #11 bottom	get beaten by jazz players
Writing note names over ledger-line notes	$50
Writing beat numbers under dotted figures	$50
Playing eighth notes	$5 each
Playing sixteenth notes	$10 each
Playing above 1st octave	Immediate dismissal
Dragging fast tempo	$75
Dragging ballad tempo	$100
Blacking out during ballad	$200
Ignoring drummer's tempo	$100
Following drummer's tempo	$250
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me	$1000
Upright Players
Showing up before first downbeat	$25
Playing audibly	$25
Faking changes	$25
Slapping	$150
Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass	$25
Excessive sweating	$25
Pedal point double-stops during horn solo	$50
Asking leader for a solo	$30
Accepting solo when offerred	$50
Taking second chorus	$100
Playing solo arco	$400
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune	$100
Playing "A Train" ending on every tune	$200
Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune	$500
Electric Players
Checking hair between tunes	$15
Experimenting with odd meters	$25
Missing root at end of blistering fill	$25
Playing with a pick	$50
Tuning during ballad	$30
Playing Jaco groove on samba	$75
Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad	$150
Attempting last word on final chord	$50
Achieving last word on final chord	$100
Long gliss down to final note	$200
Equipment Violations
Forgetting strap	$10
Changing strings after every set	$15
Using electric tuner	$15
Setting up mic "just in case"	$75
Forgetting to turn amp on	$40
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip	$50
Asking horn player for help moving amp	$25
Bringing custom-made bass	$100 per string above 4
Bringing more than 1 bass	$100 per extra bass
Skull decals on bass	$150
Bringing fretless bass	$500
Criminal Bad Taste
Telling bone player about all the gigs you get	$10
Asking bone player about their day gig	$10
Sitting behind drums on break	$10
Quoting "Birdland"	$25
Practicing scales during break	$25
Practicing scales during drum solo	$50
Practicing	$150
Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..."	$50
Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing"	$100
Basic Stupidity
Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt	$10
Wearing new Nickelback tour shirt	$20
Asking when the rock set starts	$20
Continually asking "Where are we?"	$25
Continually shouting "Yeah!"	$25
Asking bone player where "1" is	$50
Taking cell phone call during 4's	$100